note: "you" may refer to everybody around me. keep your head in your normal size :D
everyone is not the same.
but you differentiate me. at least, i feel different about something i think i shouldn't be different, but because of you, i feel different. it kinda hurt ya know. it really do.
one thing for sure, i know you know that i can't accomplish what you want me to accomplish. i can't give you what you want. how can i give you something i don't have yet? something that i will have later. later. i don't want it now but don't worry, i'm looking for the way. looking for the light you want me to see. later. later.
i know you're disappointed of how disappointing i am. should i declare to you what i truly feel? ah, yes, i'm going to. i'm disappointing, and i'm disappointed. of me. of my life (kinda). of how everything won't work the way we want. that's it.
so, it's ok for me, if your place is not the warm place for me anymore. i'll warm up my self with my old blanket if things frozen. i'll make my own fire. i'll sew my own sweater. i'll make my own hot coffee with vanilla cream. i'll do everything to make my self warm. don't worry, i try not to get fever. or frozen to death. don't worry.
and, yes, there will be always a but.
don't blame me if i turn into a skaði. so much things running in my head now. and my multitalent doesn't work well, so i skip many things to make me feel better. do i feel better? of course not. the worst part of how my brain works nowadays is that it realise things that i skip. a sweet sugary procrastinator. it realise how i skip many things. then i become so flat. gruff. unaware. nonchalant. ah, whatever. that's what i can do for now. will you wait?