One month to go to December 8th, 2012. What's on December 8th, 2012? Theoretically, nothing. But I'm waiting for that day. I have to have something that I wait for.
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I started this day by entrapped in annoying conversation with my parents. 'twas too annoying until I don't even want to remember it even though I'm not sure I can forget it. Too annoying until I decided to go to my office 15 minutes earlier and wasted my time wandering around to some streets and paths wishing I would get lost somewhere. But I think, I was actually gifted a super powerful radar of Neptunus --to automatically find my office, not to find you or to be found by you. Not yet.
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My homework. Hah.
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And, oh, marriage! Haha. No, I don't have any plan to get married soon. But I swear, if my day comes, I won't ever show off the "private" things of marriage life, implicitly or explicitly to public. Isn't it too disgusting?
I think I've said that I don't have any plan to get married soon. Well, the fact is I don't want to get married just because I feel I have to do so due to my age or due to my circumstances, and I don't want to lose someone just because I think I'm not ready yet. So, am I ready or not? Don't ask me. Hehe. I can't believe that I'm talking about this, because it's one of topics I avoid in my daily life. It reminds me of how suck it is to lose hope. Not that easy though. And I can't believe that I clearly said there will be always a bright side of a dark session in life, in everything. Oxymoron. Me know. Sigh.
Anyway, I don't want to think about the contritions because I don't want to be ungrateful for something that beautifully taught me or be grateful for something wrong. I'm trying to let go, but I have to admit that I choose to forget than to let go but forgetting something that isn't written in a textbook would never be that easy.
And, hey, sometimes He shows me a beautiful way through some strangers. What can be more amazing when there was a time (two days ago exactly) I felt so desperate realising what He stated, then, pop! A beautiful word comes from a stranger whose life experienced almost like mine: "If you're trying hard, you'll meet someone who is trying hard too. Don't worry." It touches my heart until now. Not by the way she said it, but by the way He showed me. I'm not a good woman, but I'm trying to be. Theoretically.
Hey, I've told you that I'm not thinking about contritions. A past can't be changed. The sins I've made can't be undone. That is me who needs to change.
