yayayayaaaaa, tentu saja..
akhirnya saya tau kenapa saya sering trenyuh dan pilu liat blog saya akhir-akhir ini, serasa ada yang kurang kalo dibandingin dengan blog saya yang dulu. blog yang punya woro-woro di welcome note-nya seperti ini:
and please understand, it's still not a serious stuff. so don't destroy your eyes, your brain, even your heart to read this stupid stuff. you'll waste your time. and i'm so sorry because i'm too shallow and superficial and because i love using unsmooth coarse words. i suggested kid under 18 to leave this page immediately. and i'm also sorry if you can't find what you're looking for here. it's a scum of society.
saya dulu sangat "kasar" dan "tidak beretika", ditandai dengan gimana vulgarnya saya menceritakan hampir semua yang pingin saya ceritakan, mulai dari hal nggak penting sampai hal yang amat sangat nggak penting. dan seingat saya, saya enjoy aja tu, melihat sekeliling dan mencari inspirasi apa yang pengen saya tulis. bahkan untuk hal sekecil kutu tikus tanggal 16 april 2007:
Synchronization
I really need to synchronize my brain and my hand. Really..
Lately it's harder for me to understand what the teachers say when i only use my ears.. Moreover, sometimes didn't use my ears totally as my eyes sometimes can't work in team with my ears and my hand..
And it's getting harder and harder knowing i only have less than 24 hours a day.
Never mind. It's enough for blabbering.
Well, i still have nothing to blog. My first day after mid.
But i got something i need to remember:
Chloralhydras, camphora, chreosote (?), phenol, and salol are causing the incompactibility with oleum cacao: it will reduce the melt point of oleum cacao. therefore, i need to add Cera 4-6% from the weight of oleum cacao to increase the melt point.
-ver-
atau derita tanggal 30 maret 2007:
pathetic before mid
i don't care about the assignments pilling high, i don't care about the mid, even i don't care about SO. here i am, writing something worthless again, my deepest sorry coz i am pathetic. this is me anywayy.. ):
the traffic jam in my life is getting 'mbruwet-mbruwet-mbruwet' don't know how to call a police to rearrange the crowdness in my traffic. no police came. no body came. damn!
i can't leave this traffic. no police care. no body care. damn!
i'm tired of everything. i'm tired. i want to sleep. i want to forget everything. i want to shut down all the applications. shut down my mind. shut down my soul. shut down my heart. hibernate.
sorry for breaking my promise, but life is not particularily good. forget the promise! forget! let me blabbering about this life. should i cry? why should i cry? cry? i don't have tears anymore. dry.
hahh!!!!!
well, i'm trying not to be pathetic.
i'm pathetic in mind. i'm NOT pathetic in life. my laugh is pure, i even make every body laugh. my smile is pure, i even make someone smile. i'm pathetic in mind of loneliness. i'm not pathetic in life. i'm not pathetic. i'm not.
yes. i'm not pathetic. though it's too crazy for me by not preparing everything for my mid. it's all about time. it's all about the only 24 hours i have a day to do so many things. simply: LAPORAN EDAN!
24 hours: 20.83% for sleep. 16.67% for kuliah. 16.67% for practical work. 12.5% for refreshing. 33% THINKING. sisanya buat sisa2 kehidupan. good luck, patheticer! you've been losing so much time.
hweheheheee..
mungkin beberapa waktu ini kangen seperti itu lagi tapi entah kenapa otak saya jadi lebih tumpul dari sebelumnya. nggak bisa lagi berkata-kata seperti itu. apalagi yang seperti ini: (2 Juli 2007)
I just can't fly
Shi*t!
I need more inspiration to figure these fuc*king things out!
I'll never have enough time to see these things clear. Maybe i need to be somebody else, and let this worry washed away!
I shouldn’t be loved. my head shouldn't be cut off. my heart shouldn't be stopped beating!
i want to run, but my foot embedded in the earth. i'm jaded. what on earth should i do? i don't know. i don't. i want to fly, but....
i just can't fly.
Let me alone until I see a falling star in the black black black sky.
-ver-
dan ternyata jawabannya karena aku adalah apoteker ^^
udah pernah dapet mata kuliah etika dan perundan-undangan farmasi qx
dan mungkin itu yang bikin saya agak risih dengan sinetron-sinetron di facebook atau tweet-tweet acakadul di twitter tentang gimana merananya nasib mereka, nasib hubungan sama si pacar, nasib keluarga, dan yang paling bikin saya ngelus dada: nasib ranjang. duhhhh.. nggak lucu dong ah, kalo saya risih dengan kevulgaran orang-orang mengupdate status mereka dengan hal-hal seperti itu, eh di sisi laen saya melakukan hal yang sama. heheheheee.. oh, enggak, enggak ada yang ngelarang hal seperti itu, hak asasi merekalah yaaa ^^
dan dengan ini berarti saya harus belajar untuk melihat hal-hal dari sisi yang laen walopun sesungguhnya sisi yang dulu saya lihat adalah sisi yang menyenangkan buat saya q: heheheee.. karena saya toh emang nggak bakat nulis & bikin blog yang high quality seperti punya teman2 saya. bisanya ya ngeluh2 gitu. tapi ya bodo amat lah yaaa, saya dengan pemikiran & gaya saya, dan mereka dengan punya mereka sendiri \^o^/
if you like this, just stay.. if you don't, please leave ^^
karena, jelas, jejak2 saya yang dulu nggak selalu bisa dihilangkan..
tapi saya masih kangen yang seperti ini:
far from home
i imagine being somewhere else... far from home. leaving my bed. leaving my problems. meeting new people. cooking new spaghettis. licking new ice creams. baking new muffins. eating new chocolates. drinking new coffees. dancing new dances. singing new songs. watching new movies. reading new books. listening new music. hearing new whispers. lighting new candles. visiting new boutiques. buying new shoes. wearing new shirts. feeling new rain. driving new car. sailing new boat. going by new bus. learning to drive truck. learning to swim. learning to paint. playing in an opera. kissing someone. striding in new streets. laying down in a new bed. enjoying beaches. creating snowman. picking sun flowers. sitting under fallen tree. creating new chemistry reactions. producing new drugs. getting married. going honeymoon. making love. having children. happy life, far from here.
entah kenapa saya nggak pede lagi dan selalu pada akhirnya mencet ctrl A + del setelah menerawang jauh kedalam media menulis dan nggak menemukan apapun disana T___T
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