from the day i born

whoaaaa..
it's such a super busy week. i'm lack of sleep. mid semester. it's still a long way to go.
*baru ngerjain satu paper*masih banyak paper lain yang menunggu*

well, i guess there's something wrong with my brain, literally. i used to forget something easily, just in a second. and i have to make notes which i'm not really into something like that. i used to have a secretary before. sigh..

this recent days, after merapi, the sultan~isme is being talked about. i do really love jogja, though i don't know who sultan is, but i love the way jogja lives and lightens up my life, from the day i born until today. i love the way jogja is special. and i sometimes get jealous if a tourist falls in love with jogja. i love the way i am a jogja~nesse, though i'm a half solo. i hate new comer who arrogantly drives a non-AB license plate~d vehicle. i used to miss quiet condong catur junction when i was an elementary school student, there were only 1-5 cars in the traffic jam. now? sigh. for me, they brought that life style. sorry, if i'm wrong, it's really only a non-scientific opinion. really.

my professor said as a quote of the day, "ngono ya ngono, ning aja ngono.." ^^

yeah, i'm still imperfect. but i'm trying to be, never end. one little mistake is forgivable i guess. if not, really, i can be tired >__< hate the way i always feel i'm not good enough to be. not only the way i am, but everthing of mine. seems like i only get the bad one.

and, oh, i've just got frustrated. i asked my sister to hear something. she can hear it, but i can't although in a highest volume so she complained me about the sounds:

You're Not 18 Anymore!

Although you can still hear quite a bit, you can't hear everything! Your ears now have even more limits! The highest frequency you can hear is: 15khz

Check your hearing, download the Silent Ringtones for free

sigh.

a little note about jogja in my thought:



JOGJA:
place where i first felt the fresh air of earth 19 years a go...
where my parents heard my cry for the very first time.
a beautiful place where i learnt how to say words, stand up, walk and run...
a place where i feel love from all the people around me, and some hatred i never know the reason.
a place where i almost spend my whole life with..

until several seconds a go, i did really want to spend my whole life in JOGJA.
but then i wonder: what kind of a life i will create?
everytime breathe the same air, drink the same water, meet the same people (i don't mean that i hate meeting those people, really, they are great!)
and the worst thing: struggle the same trouble, looking for the same place and the same people to cry on, and the same thing i got.
what? my life isn't too worthless kalo cuma dapet hal yang itu2 aja...

i really want to go to the place where i learnt how to ride bicycle, place where i first learnt how hard this life...how big this world, and how small i am.

rasa2nya emang sombong...kayak aku selalu bisa nyelesaiin masalah yang aku hadapi di sini, di JOGJA. kayak JOGJA sempit aja (emang! gerah!), kayak udah kenal semua orang di JOGJA...
Udah kayak sultan gitu deh, apa2 bisa...

tapi aku beneran bukan sombong, lhah wong aku bukan kayak yang udah disebutin diatas, aku belum&nggak akan bisa kenal semua orang di JOGJA, JOGJA toh masih terlalu luas untuk bisa kenal semua orang yang jumlahnya banyak2, aku nggak bisa ngapa2in di JOGJA kalo sendiri, aku nggak mungkin jadi sultan (jadi istrinya mungkin masih bisa, jadi pembantunya apalagi!).

aku cuma nggak pingin stuck di JOGJA.

rasa2nya makin sombong...kayak aku mampu banget keluar dari JOGJA, kayak nggak sadar kalo nihh anak manjanya selangit2 atap JOGJA.
tapi kalo nggak dicoba gimana bisa tau?

one thing: i just don't want to stuck in JOGJA anymore...
&kalo hari itu bener2 datang (amiin), i believe JOGJA&me are still a soulmate.
&seandainya aku emang nggak bisa kalo nggak di JOGJA, JOGJA will always there for me.
&kalo hari itu nggak akan pernah datang, i will mary JOGJA.

atau aku memang nggak jodoh dengan tempat itu, tapi jodoh sama tempat lain,
that's my life God planned for.

one more thing: i need to prepare my self to face that day!
salah satunya ujian mid yang udah terang2an ada didepan mata, tapi aku malah asik maen komputer *muka bloon*
dasar gebleg!

one other thing: berusaha dan berdoa terus...
praktikum dengan senang, bikin laporan dengan riang, kuliah dengan gembira, belajar dengan tekun
&maen dengan riang gembira.

one more other thing: never wrong to have a dream as high as the sky as long as we never afraid to open our wings if we are fall.
*muka senyum lebar penuh harapan*

and the most imporant thing: i have my own way God planned for me. all that i need is do my best and pray so bad...

well, it's all abot my dream.
-ver-

picture was taken from:
www.tasteofjogja.com