pathetic thoughts are cool

what's the purpose of announcing the badness of people around you? to criticizing people?

when someone is criticizing you, will you get mad and build your self defense? maybe they're building it too now. and the wall between you and them are getting higher, and you can't see them anymore..

and how can they see you? you can only scream to each other behind the wall. you can't show them how much you care, and you can't see how much they care..

building a wall by saying they're wrong and you're right.. buhh..

that's not the point, my friend. and that's none of my business. i just want to slap your face, my friend..

how can a little mistake be a huge mistake because people think how bad people-you-are-talking-about?

maybe you don't mind if i think you're a dumb because your boy/girlfriend explicitly show it. but i do. i don't want people think about how bad my boyfriend is and how desperate i am to have him in my life, if it happened.

that was the main reason why i changed the way i show my mind in this blog. i used to feel very tortured if he did something i didn't want him to do or he didn't do something i thought he should do. then i feel that i was very pathetic, and showed to the world how pathetic i was by telling how bad he was without remembering how good he was. it was because i wrote a bad side of my life more than how good my life treat me. because actually, for me, pathetic thoughts are cool. hehe.. and it will always be. i love pathetic thought, because it really sounds good for me. and it makes me think about my life deeper. and somehow, when it's about anger, i can feel better.

but people just don't know that i do have beautiful days, beautiful thoughts, beautiful moments. because i rarely write about them. and, maybe, people then got misunderstanding, and thought that my life was very sorrowful. then, once, someone tried to fix it -___- haha! that was funny actually. i needed to re-fix little things, of course, but the rest made me think about how bad i was by announcing bad sides of people. then i thank you (:

but verda is verda, i still love pathetic thought and still love to write about what i feel. i don't care what people thought about my life, but i won't let them think about something bad about people around me (:

maybe, it will be implicitly. because i know, sometimes i can be under control. haha!